I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Randomize
