So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize