I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
