Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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