I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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