Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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