gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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