but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
