AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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