i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We are all done wearing pants today
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
