There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize