I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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