I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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