We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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