all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
3 2 1 whiskey
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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