She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize