If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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