I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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