Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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