Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
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