i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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