i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she peed on how many people?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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