I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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