make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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