i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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