Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
