Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
