32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
