He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
