Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
