it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize