is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
