oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
