"it" just moved
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
