we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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