Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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