When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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