We're facebook friends in real life
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
