I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
