sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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