You can't special order awesome
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
