There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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