Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
