Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
