The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize