Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize