Please, let me fuck your mom
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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