Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
