He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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