The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
