I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
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When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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