i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
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I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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