I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love having hate sex.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
