I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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