omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
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I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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