happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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