Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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