____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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