Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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