so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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