I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
