Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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