His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she pinky promised me she was 18
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
